A religious joke

[R0cketer]

A Preacher was explaining that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation,.....no one wants him to leave.

Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the City stands up and proclaims, .... "If the Preacher stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year, and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!" The congregation sighs in relief, and applauds. Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands and says,...."If the Preacher will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary, and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of all his children!" More sighs and loud applause, Sadie Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, "If the Preacher stays, .... I will give him sex!" There is total silence. The Preacher, blushing, asks her, . "Mrs. Jones, whatever possessed you to say that?" Sadie's 90 year old husband Jake is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand, and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies,....."Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, .... "Screw the Preacher!"

[imported_ut1]

OH, that was wicked! Here's another that I thought quite humorous:

A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the
confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the
street and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn't
know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd
stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do.

The rabbi comes and he and the priest are in the
confessional. A few minutes later a woman comes in and says "Father forgive me for I
have sinned."

The priest asks "What did you do?". The woman says "I committed adultery."

Priest: "How many times?"

Woman: "Three times."

Priest: "Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more."

A few minutes later a man enters the confessional. He says "Father forgive me for I have sinned."

Priest: "What did you do?"

Man: "I committed adultery."

Priest:"How many times?"

Man: "Three times."

Priest: "Say two Hail Mary's put $5 in the box and go and sin no more."

The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he's got it so the priest leaves.

A few minutes later another woman enters and says "Father forgive me for I have sinned."

Rabbi: "What did you do?"

Woman: "I committed adultery."

Rabbi: "How many times?"

Woman: "Once."

Rabbi: "Go do it two more times. We have a special this week, three for $5.